


So that is it?

by Tigi



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:27:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27763750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tigi/pseuds/Tigi





	So that is it?

It had been always ironic thought China, while running her finger tips over the cover off her books.  
After all she was probably the most loved woman in the whole world.  
More then one man had promised her undying love and some of them even proved that they weren't lying.

Most of them considered China to be fools.  
But then she found them quite useful at the same time.  
After all a fool in love, was a foll doing what she wanted.

Over years she grew to think of people falling in love with her as a simple fact.  
Everyone just did it.  
With no expectation.  
Even Skuldugery, trough she never had an interest in him.  
Not much at least.

But then one day she met an exception.

The day she met a woman, that she would fall in love with, was the day she met the only person who seemed truly immune to her charm.  
Not just able to ignore it with willpower, but truly immune.

Ironic, thought China, I can have everyone in the world.  
But the one person I desire is unreachable.  
Or maybe it was because Tanith never seemed to return her feelings, that she craved the woman in the first place.

Maybe it was because she couldn't have her l, that she wanted her so badly.  
But then, it probably didn't mattered.  
China loved her all the same.

.......

Watching her falling on love with Gastly was hard.  
But it wasn't unbearable.  
After all she knew Hhastly was a good man, a man who would be god to Tanith and Tanith could be good to.  
They kind of deserved each other, both of them undeniable fighters and both good, honest people.  
People who deserved a happy end.  
It still hurt trough.  
A lot, actually.

But China knew that she couldn't get Tanith, knew it because Tanith made it more then clear.  
She didn't like China even a littel.  
That was okay.  
It wasn't okay.  
But then it didn't mattered.  
It mattered only to China.  
And it shouldn't.  
She should find somone else.  
She easily could.  
There were so many woman and man out there.....and still not one of them interested her.  
None of them were her.  
All of them just dull and replaceable it seemed.

Tanoth was diffrent.  
Ghastly kind of too.  
Not because China like him too, but because she knew that he could be the one for Tanith.  
Which made it amusing and hard to watch at the same time, how aginozingly long they took to flirt.

It made China feel bitter, watching them, as they behaved as if they had all the time of the world, considering it a completly normal thing that their feelings were getting returned.  
It made China want to kick their asses and tell them to just get it over with.

But she hold onto herself and let them do it their way.  
After all their was nothing worse then interference in something as fragile as that.

...............

Losing Tanith to a remant was beyond unbearable.  
Seeing her and having thses feelings and knowing ag the same time that it wasn't her.....  
It was so damn hard.  
And Chiba hated too, how it made Tanith miss her chance with Ghadtly.  
Instead she had Sanguin now.  
A guy, who was admittedly not completly useless.  
But he wasn't Ghastly.

From what China could see, he did love Tanith.  
A lot.  
But if it was her decision, they would stop going out.  
Tanith deserved better.

It made China bitter, to realise that Tanith probably deserved better then her.  
But then, life us just unfair.

,,Do you think Tanith can be brought back?"

Turning around China looked at Valkyrie and forced herself to smile.  
Valkyrie was one of the few people, which company she enjoyed and liked.  
For her sake China pretended that her hear wasn't toen apart, by watching Tanith beeing possed.

,,It is highly unlikely."admit China.

,,But not impossible?"asked Valkyrie looking like she was miles away in her mind.

,,Nothing is impossible, if you are a soccer.  
Not really. But some things are difficult and some things we just don't know or come with a great cost."told China her.

,,Maybe, but it would still be worth trying wouldn't it?"

,,Sometimes it is better to not worry about such things."told China her.

,,But we can't just stop.  
It is Tanith we are taking about here, I know you don't like her, but please.  
At least try, she would do the same for you."

I not liking Tanith?  
What an irony China thought.  
I love her and yet all the world must think I hate her.  
All the world must think I don't have a heart, after all I never fall in love in their eyes.  
And I never will.  
Can't.

And she wouldn't do the same for me.  
I can see it in her eyes, thought China.  
In her beautiful blue eyes that seem so incredibly in love.  
These eyes that are meant to be worshiped and loved as is all off her supposed to be.  
She deserves a guy like Ghastly.  
A good guy.  
A better guy then the one she has right now.

,,She wouldn't."tells China Valkyrie and walks away.

Nobody can know of her feelings.  
They would see it as a weakness and use it.  
China can't allow that to happen, she has to be strong.

...............

Her and Skulldugerys friendship ends.  
It doesn't come as a surprise to her.  
After all some secrets are just not meant to stay hidden.

There three thinghs that cannot be hidden for long, the sun, then moon and the truth.  
An old saying she knows and a good one, even troug time she had bee. trying to prove it wrong.  
But maybe it isn't so much as that the truth has to stay hidden, as much as it has to stay hidden long enough for her to change it.  
To change the truth to her liking.  
Or bend it.  
Or to make the truth simply a thing of the past.

Sometimes she had wondered if it even could be possible to change the way how you feel.  
She would try.

It wasn't because the feeling was si awful.  
Helk she loved the feeling, loved the way it spread trough her body and made her feel warm.  
Loved the lightness it gave her.

But she only had to remind herself of the way she felt when Bliss died to know that she couldn't bear to love another time.  
Never again.  
Neither romantically or family wise.  
Love wouldn't make her weak.  
It would destroy her.  
Tear apart every wall that made her herself.  
It would kill her.  
..............

She felt heart broken and she didn't even knew over wish guy.  
Was it Ghastly's dead that was tearing her apart or was it Sanguin's.  
God two guys that loved her and now both were gone.  
It made her smile bitterly.  
Some people longed for love.  
And she?  
She got the love completly free, practically thrown at her and she just let it slip trough her finger.  
First she heard of Ghastly dying.  
A littel later she watched Billy-Ray dying.  
It was tearing her apart.  
Ghastly had been her love.  
God.  
She wished they could have been something.  
But they never got even to that point.  
They were fools.  
Thinking they had time.  
But they didn't had any.  
They never had had time and they would never have.  
She hated it.  
Despised the fact that she could have had time with him.  
But she hadn't.

And then their was Sanguin.  
The man who saved her lifes, giving his.  
She could still remember his eyes brightened up, when he won over the white Cleaver.  
Just as well as she recalled they way he gasped for air, when he couldn't get any.  
Just as well as she remebered the way he looked when he died.  
His desperate attempts to live.  
And his body denting him that wish.  
It was engraved in her memory how he had died.  
It haunted her.  
Maybe even more than Ghastlys death, which was strange.  
After all she didn't loved him.  
And she would never have.  
But he broke her heart all the same

................

She had heard of Tanith.  
Of course she had, after all she always heard if what the people dud.  
But thus was diffrent.  
This was Tamith.  
And China hated herself for sitting in her armchair.  
Hated herself for sipping wine and reading a book, while Tanith was out there.  
In pain and with a broken heart.  
But she?  
She was reading a book and doing nothing.  
Because she wasn't being there for Tanith.  
Never would.  
They weren't meant to be.

................

................

The day Tanith walked into the city it made her want to turn around and never look back.  
It reminded her of Sanguin.  
Reminded her of him dying.  
For a second she closed her eyes until she had overcome her memories,or at least had pushed them away.

Not that they ever truly faded away.


End file.
